I know we’re bigger than this.

So it occured to me today that maybe I am being a very stubborn person? I am impatient and sensitive but I am also caring to those that care about me and honest with a big heart but I really do not think that I am all that stubborn. I keep wanting to call my ex-bff (who I really miss and I don’t know why she doesn’t miss me) to tell her “omg, did you see/hear/go to.. etc” but then I think why isn’t she calling me? The ball is in her court after I have had sms’s, emails, promises unanswered time and time again. Maybe I am being stubborn against being a desperate douche bag but I really don’t think after all that this is my fault and that I am being the one who didn’t fight for our friendship. It makes me a little very sad that in 4 months I won’t be here and she probaly won’t even reliese that I don’t live here anymore by then. Luckily (?) I don’t see her around much anymore so I can just get on with my life of working/saving/watching The Office/drinking tea. I just miss her and wish I did move to Melbourne for the winter so at least I would have my sister for company and not feel like such a drop kick. 3 weeks until my Melbourne vacation is going to have to do for the time being!

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Things I Love Thursday

♥The fucking lesser me on Friday night, Philly style jeez steak, payday, one single day off, chocolate Yogo, Pam & Jim, look at this fucking hipster, 33 1/3 and counting!,  letters to Arizona via donkey,  my new winter coat, swearing!

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Nordisk musik!

The other day it occured to me that I like a whole heap of Scandinavian (mainly Swedish though) music, sure I like bits and pieces of bands from primarily English speaking countries but no other countries really.. apart from that lovely little bunch of countries in Northern Europe aka Denmark, Sweden, Finland and Norway! So I thought I would share some of my favourite bands..

Hello Saferide – A cute twee pop band featuring singer songwriter Annika Norlin that sings about expectations of drunken summer time, wishing your bff was a lesbian, the tears in our eyes (the choir in my chest!) and foot phobias. The only reason I know who this lovely band/woman is, is because of two nice Swedish boys I  met in Canada who played all her records to me and since then she has been in my top 5! Some of my favourites are.. My Best Friend, X Telling Me About The Loss Of Something Dear At Age 16, The Quiz , I thought you said summer is going to take the pain away. ETC ETC! So many favourites! & fyi, her lyrics are actually where this blogs title come from! She is also known as Säkert! and this is my sole reason for wanting to learn to Swedish so I know what she is singing, as I see (or hear it) it is pretty much Hello Saferide but in Swedish. Two bands in one! Awesome hey!

Hello Saferide

Shout Out Louds (Sweden) – I have no recollection of how I came to love this band but now I really do and I think they toured here once but I did not see them for some reason because I know I was quite slow to get on the band wagon with this one. I really could listen to Adam Olenius all day, and in fact have before and probaly will again soon. Some of my favourite are.. Normandie, The Comeback, Impossible, You Are Dreaming. ETC ETC!

Shout Out Louds

Alphabeat– A cute boy and girl singing pop band from Denmark! Cute! My brother said that they sound like English is definetley is not their first language, which is true. I first heard them when I was in England and they were getting alot of airplay on BBC Radio and then saw them in the summer in Belgium and it was pretty exciting and they are the band I play when I want to be cheered up. Very poppy and cheesey but not too overly novelty (like say, Aqua). They could totally beat the Denmark Eurovison dude and NME called them the best Scandinavian band since ABBA. My favourite songs.. Fascination, 1000 Nights of Thunder, Go-Go.

Alphabeat

Refused/ The (international) Noise Conspiracy/The Lost Patrol Band – Pretty much anything Dennis Lyxzén touches I think turns to gold and he is actually in or has been in over 10 bands! T(i)NC actually toured here like 2 months ago and yet I did not go for unknown reasons which is just mental seeming seeing Dennis on stage is one of my dreams! One day! I first fell in love with Refused when I was in year 10 which was not long after they had broken up and thought I was pretty hardcore and I even made a t-shirt. The Lost Patrol (have since changed names a few times and now only sing in Swedish) is the complete other end of the spectrum (kinda like Dallas Green with Alexisonfire and City and Colour) and all (well was) acoustic and  nice! I love it and that way I can listen to them which ever mood I am in almost! Swedish Elle voted him Dennis sexist man in 2004 (I personally don’t find him that attractive..) My favourites.. Summer Holidays Vs. Punk Routine, Liberation Frequency, No New Manifesto.

Refused

Other very note worthy bands that I adore and recommend you check out (and click on!).. Lykke Li, Jens Lekman, KashmirThe Knife, El Perro Del Mar, José González, The Sounds, Stina NordenstamLove Is All, Kings of Convenience, Peter Bjorn and JohnJoanna Lee, The Concretes and lastly but not least.. Millencolin!

For more infomations: Swedish Pop Info, Razzia Records, Burning Heart Records

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Hit the heartbrakes

Right about now I would love to have a heart to heart with my now ex bff because she knows all about how boys work but alas I am dead to her so thats not happening and right now it is almost midnight in Melbourne  so I’m not going to call my sister so here I am WordPress, get ready for some whinging. Tonight was the last week of dance lessons and I don’t think I have mentioned this previously but I had a really big crush on one of the boys there and I thought he maybe liked me too and really tonight would have been a great time to maybe ask for my phone number as it would be the last time he may see me, well, he did not. After class we can practice for a while which the boy and I usually do together and tonight he didn’t ask me but managed to ask 2 (!!!!) other girls to dance with him! Yes, I could have waited for him to finish to ask him to dance but why should I wait for him if I am not even his first choice of the girls there, I thought he liked dancing with me! As I was walking away I wished he would run outside and call my name like in a movie but again, he did not. He was really cute and we danced well together and I wasted so much time thinking about him, sleepless nights too. I didn’t think what would happen if he didn’t like me, not that boys ever do like me but I like to think what would happen if they did because surely one of these days (months, years!?) some boy is going to like me, right? I am 23 and I don’t understand why ZERO boys ever like me, EVER. We never really spoke much about other things than dancing but thats why we should go on a date to get to know each other. WHY ARE BOYS SO LAME AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME AND CAN I PLEASE HAVE A HUG FROM SOMETHING THAT ISN’T MY PILLOW. Now I am going to go drown my sorrows in some red wine and watch The Office and tomorrow I am going to see my favourite band in the whole entire world perhaps for the last time and try not to think too much about everything that sucks and go to work and try not to cry too much about my life in general. One day at a time, 4 months until I leave. Hurry. Up. September.

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Things I Love Thursday

Sherlock77

♥Bedroom dance parties for one! I was totally burning up the carpet with La Roux, Lykke Li, Notorious B.I.G and The Rembrants while the rain is pouring on my tin roof.

♥Eurovision! I can’t believe this year was the first time I had seen it, it’s so good! “Always, all the time, always on my mind” Ahhhhh raff out roud!

♥Banff Mountain Film Festival – It’s doing it’s Australian tour and I went twice this week, sooo good. Basically it’s 8 short films of snowboarding (!!!), North Pole exhibitions, extreme kayaking, rock climbing etc. Reminded me just how much I love snow and Canada and why this is my long term goal to eventually live in Canada in the snow in the year 2013+!

♥Friends marathon on a rainy day -The tv show because none of my real ones live in this state. Speaking of which 5 weeks til Melbourne! Plus it totally bucketed down today with rain which to me is a little amazing because I have not had a Perth winter rain storm in 2 whole years! I can’t wait to go to the beach with my puppy!

♥Living at my dads! I spent the last 6 out of 7 days there and it’s great. But it also nice to come home, see my puppy, not go to work and be on my own computer.

♥Thomas Sabo – It’s about time I put some more charms on my charm braclet and this amazing dude makes mixtapes, snowflakes and all sort and I can’t find any other good ones.

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Things I Love Thursday

Banananana

♥Nutty banana cake. Decided not to make nutty seeded cupcakes because I quickly realised how rediculously foul that would be. However I chucked in shitloads of linseed, chia, lsa, walnuts, psyllium husk and macadiamia into a standard banana cake and it was great! Nom nom nom.

♥New computer! I got an upgrade a few weeks ago but now I have the final missing peice.. a mega huge screen that my brother “didn’t need anymore”. It is so huge.. like almost a metre I swear. My eyes kind of hurt when I am this close though.

♥Biggest pay check ever! As much as I hate to say it, it’s really good to have money again! I locked it all right up into my wanderlust fund though because I am still not half way to what I need to leave in ermmm September!? 4 months!

♥Amy McDonald! I keep forgetting that I actually saw her last year and I wish I paid more attention at the time because now she is probaly going to be a good part of my winter soundtrack. Really pretty much any song about running away gets my approval these days.

♥The Office (US) Season 2! I have never seen it all but now I have it on dvd so now I can see Jim and Pam be cute again.

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Fall apart at the seams.

This weekend I decided to split my time between living at my Mum and Dads house for many reasons but essentially.. I think I am spiraling down into a very angry and sad place if I keep living here at my Mums so I guess.. mental health! His house is even closer to the ocean but there is no puppy but it is closer to the city (& work) and so pretty much I think 4 days there and 3 days here because I am not going to be here for long enough to move completely. Which ever, I really think I just need something to make me feel like I am a little bit welcome and appreciated in Perth because since I have been back that has been such the opposite, I have none of my friends I had before I left and now Mum is making me feel very unwelcome in my own home. I feel like a foreigner in my own home town! Luckily my Dad is pretty much my best friend these days anyway so it should be okay!

Sian Beeton

Things to do this week:

Divide my everyday belongings between 2 houses

Try to stop near-bumping into ex-bff

Stop thinking about how and why ex-bff  does not care about me

Look forward to going to Melbourne in 5 weeks!

Look forward to seeing my boy crush on Thursday!

This song kind of sums up my mixed bag of feelings this week (and last week and the week before that)!

P.S Last week I learnt what ostracized means! Thanks Triple J Hack for giving me a definition of what I am going through!

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